Hello ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Chris Taylor and I am the Advocate of the Devil.

If I have the timing right for when these episodes get released, this should actually be the first episode of the new year! First of all, let me say Happy 2018 to everybody! Secondly, I hope your hangover isn’t too strong.

There are so many things going on, or have gone on in these past and future months. Christmas, Hannukah, Thanksgiving, American Thanksgiving, we have Valentine’s Day to look forward to, and you guys are going to have a Valentine’s day Episode to look forward to! Keep your eyes peeled.

The point is that there are many occasions to go out and celebrate! Hang out with your friends and tell them how much you appreciate them. Spend time with your family and tell them that you love them.

When it comes to New Years, there are hundreds of bars, thousands of homes to go to just to be with your friends and get trashed! Ring in the new year with an obscene amount of drinking!

After all, that’s what your free time is for right? Hanging out, partying?

…. Buuuuut here’s the thing: Celebrating is for those who wish to celebrate, and today I’m advocating for NOT being in that kind of festive mood.

So this first one is going to be a tad controversial, but I’m going to say it anyways. You don’t need to go big for Christmas. Let me say that one more time. NO NEED… TO GO BIG…. ON CHRISTMAS!

The post Thanksgiving sales on Black Friday and Cyber Monday are all well intentioned sure, but it’s a trick! Companies lowering prices on things that they over ordered on so that you spend more than you thought you originally wanted to on things. Things you don’t actually need, and will probably forget about a week after opening said gifts.

The true meaning of Christmas is coming together as family and friends and spending TIME with one another, not necessarily money. Sure, it’s nice to get gifts, and it’s just as nice to give them too, but there are certain times when that just gets excessive, and someone almost always feels terrible about it.

That someone is me, be tee dubs.
See, I grew up poor, I live very much paycheck to paycheck currently, and when you have bills and food and rent to pay for, massive celebrations like Christmas can be and usually are huge drains on your savings and ability to keep living! And yes, I’m aware that there’s more than just Christmas, but that’s the one that I celebrate and I covered the other ones last year.

When I say people feel left out, I mean… what happens when your best friend see’s that look in your eye when you can’t afford the next game in your favorite franchise, and buys it for you instead. Sure, it’s not their intent for you to pay them back, that’s not in the spirit of the holidays.

But deep down, you want to! You want them to feel that same joy that they just gave you, and it slowly eats you up inside that you can’t afford to do the same thing for them! Not right away anyways. And that alone is a terrible feeling to have during “the most wonderful time of the year”.

I also mentioned up there about spending time with family. A great idea… in Theory.

But what usually happens when you spend any extended time period with your extendeds? A long list of your faults being put on display “but it’s just a joke!!”, yeah right, drink another bottle of wine Susan! And a bunch of questions that you don’t want to answer!

Why aren’t you married yet? Haven’t you gotten a real job? How come your girlfriend has a beard and is named Frank? Who did you vote for?

All in an attempt to start a fight… during the holidays.

But that’s okay, because exactly one week later you can spend time with the family you choose, your friends, and drink yourself into a small, headache filled coma. Insert argument Dos:

This is probably the old man in me, since I’m pretty sure I enjoyed this more when I was younger than I do now but… What exactly is the appeal of getting blackout drunk? Seriously, the point where you have more alcohol in your system then an entire Jack Daniels distillery, how is this a thing to be proud of?

It’s not just that. The idea of New Year’s Resolutions just boggles my mind. Why do you need a specific day to decide that you’re going to change for the better? Why not… you know, improve yourself? On a daily basis! Try each day to be a little better than you were yesterday!

People who need to wait until the new year to kick themselves in the ass are just making excuses for remaining exactly how they are right now. And you know what, if you’re happy as you are right now, good for you! Again, that defeats the point of making a Resolution.

Celebrating another period of three hundred and sixty five days going around the sun with partying with all your friends is all well and good, but don’t kid yourself into thinking that you are any different than you were when you woke up yesterday. You’re not. Maybe a little bit, but change takes time.

Besides, you can always just grab a beer or two, hang out with your significant other in your own home, and ring in the new year properly: Naked, under the covers, taking the Lord’s name in vain.

All this talk about New Year’s though, Planet Earth’s Birthday, has reminded me of my last point, and that point is actually a combination of my two previous ones. Birthdays.

I’m a thirty year old man. Every time my birthday rolls around, I am constantly reminded of how old I’m getting. White hair, itchy beard, a beer belly… It’s depressing! There is hair growing out of my ears now. I’m freaking old!

So why would I want to celebrate this?

A birthday is a combination of both X-mas and New Years. You get presents, feel guilty about getting presents that you can’t repay back to your friends and family, and then drink to forget your age.

You know what my dream birthday is? Sitting at home, playing video games and cracking open a beer or two…. Maybe three, and not having to go to work.

I’m not opposed to something low key, something small with the people who matter. And quite frankly, all this complaining is coming from a place of love. I want people to appreciate each other, the time we all spend together, not just the things we get or give!

At a certain point we all lost the true meaning of all these celebrations. To me, spending TIME is more important than spending money. Time is the one thing you can’t get back, ever. And using that time with the people you love, the people who love you right back… that’s the greatest gift of all.

Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary I do hope I managed to shed some light into NOT celebrating just because everyone else is. Whether it be in the capitalist insanity that is Christmas, the unnecessary binge drinking of New Years, or the painful reminder that is your own birthday, there are plenty of times when celebrating does more harm than good!

But there are times where it’s perfect, and we don’t need a special day for that. We just need to take the time to appreciate the people who are around us, who keep us going, who support us.

Which is a perfect segue to thank all those wonderful people who are supporting us on Patreon! It’s been much appreciated, even as the holidays draw ever closer upon us.

As always, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button to keep up with everything we have going on here at Devious Advocacy. And get to know us on a more personal level on our Discord server, which you can find a link to in the description below.

But most importantly, let us know in the comments below what you think! Did I miss a time of celebration that you are completely apathetic to? Or maybe I’m just being a big scrooge, by all means let your own views clash with my own… so that I may proceed to prove you wrong.

But for now, in the case of NOT Celebrating… The Defense Rests.

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